Navigating Life Transitions

The ancient philosopher, Heraclitus, observed that the only constant in life is change. He said that one could never step into the same river twice, because the river was always flowing and changing. In addition, we can never step into the same river twice because we’re not the same person we were a moment ago. Life and our experience of life keep changing!

In every life, it’s normal to experience some periods of calm and seeming consistency when we have an experience of stability, purpose, and direction. We may feel we know who we are. As nice as this is, there may be times when we feel we’ve plateaued or even gotten stuck in a rut.

There are also likely to be times of big change, upheaval, and growth (sometimes wanted, sometimes NOT!) This can feel like the loss or death of the familiar and comfortable, and it can also signal a transition to a new phase of life— a rebirth of sorts.

We’re all familiar with the typical life transitions that happen from the time of birth. Because my practice focuses on adult phases of development, I’ll name a few, not always in order:

1. Leaving home for college or work and independent living
2. Becoming aware of one’s identity, including gender and sexual orientation
3. Becoming financially independent 
4. Finding a career or mission — a life path
5. Forming intimate relationships — finding “one’s people” and often, a significant other
6. Making a commitment to a partner and/or merging into shared living; the ups and downs of relationships
7. Decisions around having and rearing children
8. Ending relationships: e.g., breakup, divorce
9. Career change or redefinition
10. Getting sober — i.e., recovering from any kind of addiction
11. Child(ren) leaving home — “Empty nest”
12. Spiritual evolution and reflection on life’s purpose and meaning
13. Retirement — sense of a loss of purpose;  also may involve management of finances, interests, friends, and changes in relationship(s)
14. Decisions about whether to join a living community or age at home
15. Changes in health and physical abilities; sometimes facing acute or

             chronic illness      

Loss of loved ones

1. Talking openly about dying and death and completing what’s most important to us.
2. Living fully and joyfully in our older adulthood, accepting and managing new challenges that aging presents

I very much enjoy working with my clients as they navigate these transitions and often explore the following:

1. Identifying one’s phase of life
2. Grieving any endings or losses that are happening
3. Exploring the hopes, intentions, dreams, and visions for the future
4. Understanding and compassionately working with the normal fears and resistance to change*

* It’s been said that there’s nothing more exhilarating in life than facing one’s fears! It can be helpful to have the support of a therapist as you navigate your life transitions.